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i wanted to put off bringing this up

Journal Entry: Sun May 24, 2009, 4:06 PM
but at this point i don't know how to deal with this, and i guess making a journal is somewhat therapeutic for me. I dunno.


my mom is fighting cancer, that's the crux of it. She's been on medications for a while and she's become increasingly exhausted while on it, and it's not supposed to exhaust her this much.

she had the tumor removed from her breast years ago, but the effects of cancer are i guess hitting her again and she's dealing with a lot of shit right now. She hadn't told my brother or i until recently that she's been dealing with a lot of this, for whatever reasons she had at the time. Most likely because she knew we would worry about her as much as we are right now. That and at the time her energy level was at maximum, as she was up and about as usual.


i really am not handling this well at all and i'm sort of an emotional wreck. I've been trying to not show this when i talk to people online but at this point i really don't know what's going to happen in the future and i'm a mess right now.


it's nowhere close to being a death sentence right now but the sheer prospect of cancer taking away my mom is scaring the fuck out of me, since she's been the main backbone for a lot of the reasons for my success in life. Additionally, i'm not used to seeing my mom bedridden and so exhausted, when she's usually up and about and trying to do a million things at once.

so, yeah.

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Devious Comments

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:iconsmoking-mirrors:
It's ok to be a mess. I really hope she pulls out of it just fine.

--
<salshep> but then I have a thing for wood
:iconmuura:
it's good that you're telling this to folks, helps you a lot to deal with it.

good luck to you and your mom. take care of her and yourself. don't spend too much energy worrying about it, it'll be taxing to your mom to see you miserable! (but yeah don't feel bad about being a mess either, that is completely okay.) she needs to be strong and so do you!
:iconwarnoon:
Your mother will be in my prayers. Best wishes, man. I can't understand how you feel, all I can say is I hope for the best.
:iconhoodlumd:
I empathize with you. That stuff runs really bad in my family and it really sucks to see people you're really close with go through it. Just stay calm and keep your mom calm as well. By staying positive, you'll feel better and your mom won't worry as much. Just keep it real.

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:iconmynameismad:
My grandfather had a triple bipass surgery that went a little wacky last year and he was pretty much unconscious or as close to it as you can get for a few months. He eventually recovered, but it took some doing. Just don't give up, any of you, and try to be cheerful with each other. It's really hard but talking to people helps because closing everything up is unhealthy and takes a toll on your physical and mental state. Maybe you could talk to your brother about it some, or another close family relative.

You and your mother are in my prayers. I'm here if you need to talk.

--
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:iconangieness:
I'm sorry to hear that dude, I lost my grandma late last year to cancer. I hope that she gets better, please keep us updated.

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:iconnoapathy:
its always cool to pray about these things.

ill make sure i pray for her to.

dont lose faith

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:iconthezidane:
I'd say I know how it feels, but I know that won't help the situation or make you feel any better.

Still, rather than seek contemplation online, you should really go hang with your family as much as you can, even if you've got to go out of your own way to see them. Sounds like you guys need each other right now.

I hope things turn out alright dude, I really do -_^"

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:icontiredletters:
it's great you've at least said something and gotten that much off of your chest
i pretty much have nothing to say past what :iconmuura: stated, but
i think you should take a break from social networks and meditate on this for a while and just kinda come to terms with yourself.

it's great your mother isn't at a total risk for death, though. i'm sorry and i hope with every fiber in my body that things improve.
:iconjoteivv:
oh man. i'm sorry about that, that's horrible. I'm always around if you need to talk to someone. it's totally cool to do journals like this, it lets people know what's up and it's a chance to make yourself feel better.

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hetalia 

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